I had a lenghtly telephone conversation with my ex wife IVD the other day, after months we last met. We've been divorced for over one year now. A couple of years ago she started going out with this guy, let's call him Pat, 27, handsome and wealthy by working in the City. I ambushed him on the "Italians in London" website I knew they were chatting in and wrote him "Pat, che cazzo mi rappresenta questa cazzo di situazione?", which is Italian for politely asking explanations on such matters.

He replied apologising that it had never been his intention to do something wrong with a married woman, that would be against his high principles, more the case having looked me up in the web and out of respect for my biography!

At the same time I told my wife that she was free to happily shag whoever she deemed appropriate as long as decency demanded a divorce, so that I myself would feel more comfortable in shagging around, should I wish so and the opportunity arise.

Obviously I caught them again - by chance in a 8-million city! - a few days later. The poor guy was utterly embarassed. Never mind. After the friendly divorce I wanted to reassure him that it was then ok, you see my point, but never had the opportunity: she keeps me at bay, but I would not harm them, except for asking them money perhaps.

He has found her a job in a major investment bank and she now earns in the region of 30,000 pound or 60,000 dollar, plus 10,000 pound bonus for the sharkests. I'll better keep in friendly terms with IVD, I haven't got many wealthy acquaintances!