Takuhi! I've received your beautiful letter and I'm very grateful to you for knowing that someone worries and cares about me: you are a very good friend, and probably your friendship I don't deserve.

It is true that sometimes I drink too much, I know that and know that this damages my health. You're right in ascribing the causes of this stupid behaviour to my loneliness: that's true, too.

But it is not due, believe me, neither to love affairs with a "boyfriend" (how can you imagine that I've a boyfriend!?!) nor with a "married woman"! Instead, it is true that, in some extent, maybe I'm fed up with the job.

Anyway, on the personal level I hope to feel less tired by changing air: turning into the new function of following the Internet, put and get information in/from it, trying to establish contacts with other users, etc.

It is something like to establish the party in a new country, not a real one like Bulgaria or Poland or..., but a virtual one without frontiers, so I'm excited by such idea, and during the first connections to the Internet I became aware of its great possibilities, and I've re-gained the enthusiasm I lost. That means also something like you call turning "negative thoughts" into "positive" ones. In these days I feel better and even get a walk outside to see the sunset (that's unbelievable for me!)

Now, few words about drugs: Cannabis is not a drug. Alcohol, tobacco, heroin, television, chemical pharmaceuticals, etc., are drugs. Cannabis is a non-drug. That's all about drugs.

Now, let's talk about the two of us. You know very well what's the problem between us: communication. You always pretended that I should speak bulgarian with you, but I can't speak bulgarian at an high level of conversation.

You know very well that our difficult communication is limited to elementary things like choosing a film on the TV, or agree on billiard's rules. Is this enough? Maybe, but I don't think so, I'm not so keen with such an absurd situation.

One thing is to speak to the taxi-driver "haide na parlamenta" or to the waiter at the restaurant "iskam pizza margarita"; another very different thing is to explain one's feelings about love, friendship, politics, etc.

We've not the possibility to develop our thoughts up to a real debate and healthly confrontation.

So, this is the problem, and it was not "coldness" by my side (as you said).

Ciao Takuhi! Yours faithfully,