NyLon! – chapter 23

At central Europe midnight, separating Sunday from Monday, and October from November 2004, exceptional safety measures were in place for the boarding of 200 radical members in Rome Fiumicino and as many in Milan Malpensa on the Svirgin charter flight that would have flown them to the party conference of the party. Heartened by being mentioned in this chapter after having been singularly ignored in the previous one, Daniel Crapazzoni was accompanied to embark him by a courtain of his concubines from their limousine. Orietta, Silvietta and Antonetta improvised a belly dance for the benefit of the other first class passengers: the Espernsad architectopitecus Hotel Licheri with the his gorgeous wife Sara Piccardo and their respective spiritual councellors don Domenico Spena and fundamentalist theologian Cosimo Bandinelli. With Crapazzoni and his concubines, the prestigious guests were welcomed by Raffa and Maria Cristina to occupy nearly half of the first class, that was filled an hour later in Malpensa with the boarding of the unique radical faggot Nicolino Tosoni and, accompanied from faithful veterinarian gynecologist Dr Tabar, candid Hindu-orobic tycoon John Patel and others. With his marbled body and his michelangiolesc profile, the boundless culture and eloquent oratory, the metapatavin unicorn Publisher quickly hit the attention of Maria Cristina, who fell in love with him at first sight and seated next to him cooing for the rest of the flight. The URF-MUP too was very impressed impressed by the fascinating creature and uncontrollably felt growing an unrestrainable desire to possess her, but that was prevented by his stoic fidelity to the healthy principles of alternative sexuality: under the graceful appearances of that dancing angel a tempting devil probably hid, aiming to convert him to the heterosexual heresy. Therefore he extracted from an inner pocket the Carlomanera that he carried with him in case of such eventualities and, erected it to a crucifix, introduced it in Maria Cristina carlomanerizing her till a multiple orgasm, thus avoiding his noble Organ to come in direct contact with the satanic bad woman.

While in New York the MGM bounced from the new car’s roof of Suttora-Bordini’s – who suddenly found her in the improvised press room at the fifteenth floor in Roosevelt Island with the other Italian journalists sent to the radical conference of New York -, in London in Cowley Street, carrying away a double shot of single malt single, Janine left the room as soon as I entered. I remained embarrassed in front of the whole party leadership that had summoned me. Aroun Charles there were Menzies and Vincent, respectively shadow minister of foreign affairs and shadow chancellor, skeptically scrutinized me from above their sciaticas. I realized that this time it would have been an exam harder than usual. After the complimentary double shots of single malt, Charles let Menzies spoke, who deeply put me to the test.

- Name the political exponent vaguely looking like Pannella who after the electoral success in 2001 declared us Lib-Dem to be the British radical party

I didn’t even have the need to answer orally, simply pointing the finger to vain Menzies. Then Vincent made his tricky question to trap me.

- Name the British liberal economist who differently from Pannella would never ever dream in a nightmare to appoint secretary of the party a rowdy fanatical extremist such as Crapazzoni.

The finger astonished by such an easy , it silently moved to point Vincent himself, who with Menzies left satisfied while Janine re-entered her empty drink with in a hand and in the other an envelope for Charles. In taking the envelope and serving her one more double shot of single malt single, the leader uttered:

- You have passed the test. Here is your reservation for the radical conference in New York. We expect the best from you. Quickly depart with Gary and the Turka otherwise you’ll miss the plane.

I quickly left for Heathrow with Gary and the Turka, holding on the reservation but leaving the generous double shot of single on his desk, and on his knees the generous party treauser.