18 Chinese Police Officers Dispatched to Rescue Sex Doll From River 

When Shandong police received a call reporting a body floating in one of the province’s rivers on July 11, they wasted no time dispatching 18 of their finest officers to recover it. As the police struggled to bring the corpse to the shore, rumor of the incident spread and a crowd of over 1000 spectators gathered, blocking traffic and preventing firefighters from reaching the scene. Finally, 40 minutes later, Chinese police succeeded in recovering the body. Only, it wasn’t a body, but an inflatable sex doll. As the “body” was floating about 40-50 meters from the riverbank, it was likely difficult for the police to realize what it actually was until it had been brought in closer. After confirming that they had indeed run around in a panic for nearly an hour over trying to rescue someone’s Dutch wife, the police presented it to the anxious crowd, who quickly covered their children’s eyes and walked away. This incident comes only a month after a local Chinese news station aired a story about the discovery of a legendary mushroom that turned out to be a discarded sex toy. You’d think the Chinese would be better at recognizing these things considering all the used ones they’re throwing away in public places…